Song Backstory | You Want Sex

By Martie Hevia | Blue Beach Song™

The song “You Want Sex” initially was inspired by a conversation I had with someone I was dating… once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away. We were discussing the different ways men and women, generally speaking, perceive sex.

It became clear from what he was saying that for men, excuse my generalization, sex is mostly and sometimes exclusively a sport. Sex, from a male perspective, is raw, physical, chemical, fun and lustful. Getting to know someone first, talking with them, liking them, and/or falling in love with them are all optional.

If the physical attraction is there, then what’s the problem?

The problem is that most women, I am generalizing again, do need to get to know someone first, talk with them, like them, and, preferably, fall in love with them. Women want a meaningful, spiritual, bonding experience. They want it to mean something.

Although our discussion lasted for hours, in a nutshell, it came down to this:

Women would rather “make love,” while men just want to “have sex.”

(Somewhere in the middle of this conversation is when the title to a book I have never read, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, inexplicably popped into my head.)

He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless explained that women’s expectation of ‘love’ was nonsense, childish and naive, “Adults have sex.”

As the conversation continued, I was mentally taking note of what he was saying and how he was expressing it. I couldn’t help feeling there was a song in there somewhere.

The exchange between us that ultimately triggered the lyrics in my head began with his quip: “Any guy who says he needs to be in love to have sex is a loser or a liar. Besides, love is over-rated.”

In that moment, I thought to myself without apology, “I guess I must be a ‘loser,’ because I make love, I don’t have sex.”

And there was the song.

The second I got home I grabbed my guitar, pen and paper, sat in the middle of my bed, legs crossed, and poured out the lyrics and music to ‘You Want Sex.” As you will hear, the music has a folk-blues feel, à la Lead Belly, with a little raunchy sprinkled here and there. Aside from the background vocals, the song you hear is exactly as I wrote it that night.

In truth, I had a lot to draw from. It was not the first conversation I had had with guy friends and girl friends and gay friends and boyfriends about the differences between the sexes when it came to sex.

I think there is a collective wisdom and agreement that we each approach sex from different places, we bring different things to the table (or the bed, as it were), and we want different things from it, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. All of that creates a tension of expectations, vocalized in ‘You Want Sex.’

Who knows? Perhaps that tension of expectations adds to the experience for both parties… but I’m no Dr. Ruth.

I hope you enjoy the song. -Martie

Lyrics | You Want Sex by Martie Hevia

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For best sound, use headphones to listen to You Want Sex.

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You want… Raw animal attraction.
You want… Wild chemical reaction.
You want… Fiery lusty passion.
Who needs love when you’ve got sex?
You don’t want to know me.
You just want to use me for sex.
~
You don’t want to fall in love.
You want sex.
You don’t want to talk.
No, you want sex.
You don’t want to feel.
You just want to steal…
One all-out night of steamy sex.
You don’t want to love me.
You just want to use me for sex.
~
Who needs forever…
With one crazy night of sex?
Who needs affection…
When all you want is sex?
Who needs meaningful interaction…
When all you’re looking for
Is one night of passion?
You don’t want me.
You want my body.
You want sex.
~
You say… Love is over-rated.
You say… Love is over-stated.
You say… Love is so out-dated.
It gets in the way,
Now, don’t you just hate it?
Love is just for losers.
Adult users have sex.
~
Well, baby, I’m a loser,
‘Cause I make love, not sex.

You Want Sex | Martie Hevia (c) 2014 | All Rights Reserved

(CDs Available at Amazon)
More songs & lyrics at my Blue Beach Song Music Blog

Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved